I have seen the comments you have posted, and although I had originally intended you to continue guessing forever, but have changed my mind. Here is the truth, plain and simple. No lies. If you don't believe me, I don't blame you. I haven't exactly been trustworthy in the past couple of weeks, have I?
My name is Carolina Elise Blaine. Catalina Elizabeth Blanchard was born from that. I am eleven years old. 11. Ten plus one. Eleven. Nutsy has been a longstanding nickname given to me from my siblings. Bookworm - Booknut - Booknutsy - Nutsy. It was a long evolution.
Harry Black is a figment of my imagination, the person I've always wished to have. Someone constant who loved me without it getting awkward who I could be awkward with. I've always been a lonely person, but creating Harry online made him seem real. Harry is "real" on other websites as well. Those have been deleted.
Well, I found a life for myself online. I told no one in my family or anyone else. It was my own little haven. I found you guys.
After about 11 months of doing this, however, I broke down. It was like I was living two different lives. Although Cat and I share many qualities, being two different people at once felt like a lie. I got angry at my parents and very defensive. Harry became kind of an obsession, the imaginary friend. The Raggedy Doctor for all my problems.
I got down on my knees and prayed, the first real prayer that I had said in far too long. I was forgiven and made pure by God, who somehow took me back as his child even though I had fallen so far and so fast.
Yet I still couldn't bring up the courage to tell you properly. So I faked my own death on Harry's account and thought I would just forget it all.
Somehow I found myself as if on automatic back on the Goodreads page and I saw Lex's status update. That's when I decided to write this, because although I'm not proud of it and probably am currently opening myself to Camille and many others' ridicule, I needed to tell the truth.
I still have not found the courage to tell my parents about this. They knew that I spent far too much time in my room and if they opened the door suddenly I would be talking to the air pretending it was Harry, but they didn't know about this blog or any of the other accounts.
Until I become of age and have told my parents about this and can come back as myself, I will not be returning to Goodreads. This blog will not be posted on any longer but will remain up as a reminder to myself that I need to reveal the truth.
Sincerely,
Carolina Elise Blaine
