Stupid Book Cliques

These cliques are everywhere, not just in books.

However, I'm speaking mostly to book readers.

So hopefully everyone will understand what I'm talking about.

Those stupid cliques that you hear so many times you start to think they make sense.

But they don't.

I'm here to point out some of the stupidest book/movie/show cliques I have read in literature, why we've come to think they are okay and make sense, and alternatives to them. Hopefully I'll make you laugh a little and become a better writer - or at least a better reader.
They mostly occur in romance scenes or romance novels.

I'm looking at you, Stephanie Meyer.

I can in no way list all of the stupid cliques in books in one post, so here are five cliques that bother me the most.

Clique #1: Shining/gleaming/smoldering/glittering/etc eyes

How many times have we read that scene where the heroine looks at the hero or vice versa and thinks they have shining/gleaming/smoldering/glittering/etc eyes? How many times?

A lot. Especially with the girls.

Now, I know that maybe with the right light and head tilt combination someone's eyes could reflect, giving them the appearance of having "gleaming" eyes, but other than that, I've never met anyone with shining eyes or the other bucketload of stupid adjectives we use.

Because nowadays, whenever I see "shining eyes" in books or something of that ilk, I don't think "Oh my Rowling, that's so dreamy" I think, "Send this guy to the freak show, he's a living flashlight."

Probably not the reaction the author was looking for.

Smoldering is one of the worst ones, though. Seriously? Just.... seriously?

Instead of using the adjectives I have mentioned, maybe go for actually describing the eyes. When you are in love with someone, you pay attention to how they look, but at the same time don't really care.
Love is a strange thing.

Clique #2: Fiery red hair / fiery hot temper

This one makes a bit more sense than Clique #1, because fiery means:

Consisting of fire or burning strongly and brightly.

Having the bright color of fire.

Both which make since for the words they are modifying... to a certain extent.

The red I understand. But it tells you nothing about the shade of the hair and, most times, the author doesn't explain furthur.
And that's annoying.

But why add the hot in there for the second one? Fire isn't hot enough for you? What are you looking for, a nuclear reaction? Get the hot out of there.

Or, better yet, don't use fiery at all.

Although it makes more sense than most of the cliques I'm going to talk about, it is so overused and misused that I wish people would cut out using it altogether.

Describe the hair. Don't throw a lit match at it.

Clique #3: Subconcious whispering / inner goddess / tingling feeling / hairs rising on the back of neck / shiver running up spine

Seen quite a lot in points where something big is about to happen.

Your subconcious does not whisper. It is called your subconcious for a reason. It means you don't feel it.
Frankly, I'd feel a little creeped out if I heard some random voice whispering in my head, telling me weird things.
I'd start feeling like Gollum or something.

It'd be creepy!

And some authors realize the creepiness factor of it and try to change it to something like a tingling feeling or hairs rising on the back of the neck or a shiver running up the spine, but that's almost just as bad.

But the worst one I've come across yet is the phrase "inner goddess".

I've only seen this one in a few books, but I saw enough of it to make me want to punch a kitten.

Inner goddess is so bad because instead of whispering to you like the subconcious does, it shows whatever it is feeling. There was actually a sentence in a book (not naming any names) that went along the lines of this: "I was uneasy about it, but my inner goddess was shooting off a confetti cannon in my stomach."

WHAT THE ACTUAL CHEESE DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????

 Horrid writing, that's what.

Clique #4: Electricity

Romance authors, LISTEN UP PLEASE!

When I brush my crush's hand (which would be whenever I pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice) I don't feel electricity running down my spine or down to my toes or whatever garbage the electricity is running down to.

You don't feel electricity when you touch the hand of a guy you just met. You feel awkward, maybe, but not liked you just been electrocuted, for crying out loud.

Ugh.

Clique #5: Gasp/heart stops/breath catches/can't breathe/etc

Romance authors again.
They are telling young girls that when you meet the guy of your dreams, when he walks into the room....

....you're going to have a heart attack.

My parents are in love and have never gone to the hospital with heart complaints.

I know it is meant mostly figuratively, but all I can think of is a bunch of girls falling dead to the floor because a person of the opposite gender walked in.

You don't gasp when you see someone you like being with. Usually you say a greeting, such as "hi" or "hello". I don't know what the customs are in Romance Writer land, but apparently they are different.




So there you have it. There are five overused and misused cliques that I have noticed throughout my reading career that bug me the most.

But the overwhelming question is: Why do authors use these cliques?
Surely they must realize how ridiculous and misleading these are.

And the answer is....
Because they are easy.
You don't have to go to great lengths to truly describe what you mean when you can use one of these cliques that everyone knows. It saves a lot of time.

But it deters from the quality.

I'm an amateur writer myself. I don't pretend to be the ultimate authority on everything considering writing.

However, these cliques are getting a little out of hand.

So, a shout-out to all you authors out there, whether published or still scribbling in your notebook; describe. Don't use a clique.

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A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading. I really hope you enjoyed it - this is my first blog post, so I was nervous to the extreme about this. Please feel free to post feedback, I would love to hear what you thought of it (even the bad stuff). I would also like ideas on what to post next. I will try to post regularily, maybe once every two weeks.

Thank you again!
Sincerely,
Nutsy (a.k.a. Cat)